I Think, Therefore I Am: The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Have you ever thought to yourself before a work day, a fitness class, a game or a practice, "this is going to suck" or “this is going to be a tough one” and then afterwards you find yourself thinking "I'm glad that’s over- what a tough one!?" You MUST be psychic!! Nope- False. The only reason the game or practice actually turned out to be tough or “sucky” is because you told yourself it was going to be before it started. There was no truth to the statement "this is going to suck" until you made it come true. This is an example of the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Robert Merton, a 20th century sociologist, actually coined the term of self-fulfilling prophecy. In his definition, in the book Social Theory and Social Structure published in 1949, the prophecy or prediction is false but is made true by a person’s actions. In the modern sense the prophecy has neither false nor true value, but is merely a possibility that is made into probability by a person’s unconscious or conscious actions.
I must admit, I am my own victim of the self fulfilling prophecy often. If I tell myself I am not good enough then I constantly feel that way. Knowing that I can easily succumb to such a phenomenon, I've become more conscious and aware of the messages I am sending myself. Perhaps selfish, but sometimes you just have to focus on yourself before others. I have found that the more I focus on all that I have done, instead of all that I should have or could have done, I am more at peace with myself. I encourage the same frame of thinking with my exercisers, athletes and professionals. I have not "cured" myself or all of my clients fully-it is an on-going practice, but, we can certainly tell the difference since starting to listen more closely to our hearts reactions instead of our heads reaction. While definitely grasping the idea that feeding ourselves good energy helps to expel good energy, we will still find themselves thinking negative thoughts and then believing them.
Why??
Well, as you know, this life is not meant or designed to be conquered alone- we have to coexist with others. The more 'others' there are, the more perceptions and thoughts come into the picture. It is very possible that others' words, actions, thoughts, and perceptions of you lead you into self-fulfilling behaviors. If you're constantly told you're not good enough, you begin to take on that role- consciously or unconsciously.
The way to prevent self-fulfilling prophesies is simple: don't make any negative predictions at all. Any kind of pre-judgment of events and people (including your self) should be strictly avoided. Easier said than done! I have been working with my athletes on something I call "notice and ease"- notice the negative thought, and try to ease away from it...and perhaps towards a positive one. It's NOT easy. I repeat it is NOT NOT NOT easy. Sometimes swearing feels so much better. But like anything, it is a process. And in time, I have seen chronically negative athletes shift towards a more calm and positive state both on the field and in life.
Something so simple like a thought can have so much power over us. Do what you can to disinfect your own thoughts and try not to get hung up on the thoughts of others- especially when it is negative towards or about you. I have quickly learned that once you have willingly fallen into a certain "category"-even if you don't want to be there or don't believe you belong there- it is very hard not to conform or surrender to it.
Don't let negativity- whether it be thoughts about yourself, thoughts about others, or judgements of you by others, dictate the day you'll have, the person you are, and the life you live. YOU dictate You.